she made some remarks about my wife's hair I didn't care for

Whenever I think of Oregon I think of Overboard and the moth problem off the Pacific coast.

Last Saturday was the first real day of our vacation, after Friday's hideously long drive to Portland. We hit the farmers market, then went to the Oregon Zoo. There is a little tube where you can smell the bobcat's lair. Dang stinky.

The little turncoats in the farm display. There were goats and cows.

Morose polar bear contemplating suicide. I like his beard.

Lion looking majestic.

Lioness with scratchy paw marked window.

I don't know if you'll be able to see, but this video shows just a little tidbit of the incorrigible otter. It cuts off right before I say "self-pleasuring."

It was a great zoo trip.

After the zoo we drove to the house we rented in Manzanita. Sunday we went to church with Elaine in Seaside.

Our delicious dinner made even more so by our farmers market plunder.

After dinner we went for a walk and scoped out the neighborhood. We ate blackberries off of the bushes that are everywhere, and saw a cute little building lot--a tenth of an acre for $200,000, if you're interested.

Monday morning we went to the beach. Our house was about a minute's walk from the water, with gorgeous soft sand.

The Hulk in utter bliss.

Superman with one of the many jellyfish pieces we found. He named them all "Jelly" and wanted to save them and bring them home.

Captain America in a rare moment of not throwing globs of sand at everyone.

Pinga loves the beach.

Monday afternoon we drove down to the Tillamook Cheese Factory, where we consumed our weight in dairy products.

I love this picture of Pinga in her dork shoes and Elaine.

After that we went to Ecola State Park where Elaine had spent many a P-day on her mission.

We saw some wooly bear caterpillars, sporangia on the bottom of fern fronds (which I stupidly called stomata--this is why I could never do home school), and a spider in the very act of spinning her web. It was fascinating.

Then we went over to Cannon Beach to look at tide pools, which is the whole reason we came to Oregon. I have such happy memories of grubbing around in the water with my sisters and finding creatures.

After we saw Elaine off on Tuesday morning we went to Arcadia Beach.

Everybody loves a good sand fight.

Then I stayed home with napping Pinga while John and the boys went to our beach, where they tried to murder that seal and got yelled at by the lady. For crying out loud. Why does she think we brought those clubs?

Wednesday we went to Hug Point for a little bit in the morning. There is a spot where there is a wagon track dynamited right into the side of the cliff. There are also sea caves and little grottoes (not the Hefner kind) full of tide pools and critters.

Then we went crabbing in Nehalem Bay.

We spent a lot of time throwing the little guys back, but we did get two keepers and turned them into this:

Does anyone even use those silly mallets? They seem like they would just mash everything.

I have a hideous video of myself eating the raw oyster, but I'm so ugly after crabbing in the rain that I'm unwilling to give it a wide release.

Later that night Pinga ate some yogurt and was cute.

Thursday morning we hit the tide pools at Haystack Rock for a spell, then went to the Seaside Aquarium, which is a grand moniker for three modest rooms, consisting of a seal pool, a room of salt water aquariums and touch pools, and a gift shop.

It was the perfect speed for our kids, and it's nice to be at a place where nobody yells at you for picking up a hermit crab. The seals beg for fish by barking and slapping their fins on their chests, a sign we have now adopted.

Later that night John ate a pizza and took a picture of himself.

Friday we checked out and headed for home.

Bye, sea house.

Bye, beach.

Bye, deer eating the neighbors' lawn.

We didn't get to Meridian until midnight. Every girls' cross-country team in the state of Idaho was staying in our hotel and they bogarted all the hot chocolate. Pigs. I got my waffles, though. Then the next day we did our final leg. I swear it took twice as long to come home. I was just thankful we were driving home through Oregon and Idaho. Nevada almost killed me last year. I asked John, "Is there even a reason for Nevada?" And we spoke simultaneously:

John: "Gambling."

Layne: "Whores."

Then we had a good laugh.

A twelve-hour drive to a vacation is doable, but only with behavioral controls. Thank goodness for Operation Penguin.

his friend the pig was named william fitzpatrick

Tonight while we were waiting for John to come back from getting gas I told the boys a bedtime story. Superman requested one that I made up, so I composed a story about a goat named Patrick Fitzwilliam who had a glorious long beard and set out one day to seek his fortune working in a grocery store. Patrick Fitzwilliam was a model employee until the day he had to work in the meat department.

It was a good story.

We spent the day playing on the beach and John and the boys saw a seal just cooling his heels on the beach until they approached it. Then it made haste and a lady came up and got in their faces about stressing out the seal. Why is it that the animal protectorate can't approach anybody kindly about treating animals well? Why do they always act like incompetent grade school teachers? Could it be that they are socially tone-deaf, but animals accept them for the tactless killjoys they are?

second first day of school

Here's Superman rarin' to go. We walked up the hill to his preschool, and he was pretty tuckered by the end. But it gets wiggles out.