so here's the thing

After monitoring the traffic for this blog for a while I've decided not to go private. And, when it came right down to it and I starting thinking about all the email addresses I'd have to collect, I decided that I wasn't really about that kind of effort. Especially considering that there isn't a whole lot of interest on this blog to anyone, including family and friends. So Sehr Laut is going to remain a public blog. At least until the weirdos show up!

starting home

We stayed right across the street from Disneyland. It's a little divey, but not too scary, and you can't beat the commute.

Pinga is the cutest baby in the world.

Our room in St. George.

We didn't think we'd feel up to driving the whole way home, so we planned a stopover in St. George. I did some useless shopping while everyone else played in the pool at the motel. It was another Comfort Suites, because their breakfast is that good. We met a lovely couple from Germany who have been touring the U.S. during the summer. Nice work if you can get it, EUROPE. Here in the States we're a little busy for that. Hey, this economy's not going to destroy itself!

last day in california

Next to fightin', they like TV best.

In this picture Pinga's diaper is causing the universe to implode.

The Mr. Men show! We watched it a lot on our vacation. It's hilarious.

We went to Seal Beach, and John buried Captain America while I took Pinga and Superman and The Hulk with me to Whole Foods because it was windy and cold and we are wusses.

disneyland day 2

Jedi training--pretty scanty, if you ask me. I'm pretty sure none of those kids really know how to stretch out with their feelings.

Captain America takes his responsibility as a Jedi knight very seriously.

Superman is less of a Jedi knight and more of a Jedi court jester.

The hilarious thing to me is that The Hulk totally looks like an old man talking about this terrific new bunion cream he's found.

Captain America is a cautious cat.

See? I'm not kidding about being serious. Who is this person?

We always kiss in front of the castle, like probably nobody else has ever done. And John didn't even close his eyes, the cheater!

poo scraper--another of the many hats I wear

I took Pinga to the Gut & Butt Doctor today--more formally known as the Pediatric Gastroenterologist. We talked about why she might be so small and hungry, and what horrible diseases might be present to cause her problems. But the good doctor agreed with me that what we're doing so far has made a vast improvement, as Pinga has had a sharp incline back towards the growth curve, instead of tapering off into oblivion, as she was at a year.

While we were there Pinga made "a stinky," as Jiminy Glick would say, and the doctor said that we may as well use the fresh stool to do the lab work, since the lab is just downstairs. So I took the diaper downstairs, and here's what happened:

Layne: (opens door to lab, and sees a room full of people clearly waiting for the results of their rabies tests) Hi . . . are you the people I talk to about . . . I have a poopy diaper for you.

Male Lab Technician: We don't accept those.

Layne: (waving paper from the doctor, ordering the labs) Uh . . . my doctor said to bring it down? It's to do some labs? (No, I was not being sarcastic. Just nervous.)

MLT: It has to be in a sample cup.

Layne: Can I put it in a sample cup? So we don't have to waste the precious feces?

MLT: Sure (handing me a screw-top cup). Here you go.

Female Lab Technician: Is it in a diaper?

Layne: (looking at her stupidly) Umm, yeah. I don't know how else to get . . .

FLT: Well, they don't like the diaper fibers in there. If the diaper was lined with Saran Wrap . . .

Layne: Well, can I just . . . exclude? the diaper fibers when I'm scraping it into the cup?

FLT: (begrudgingly) Yeah. Do you want some gloves?

Layne: Yes, that would be great.

FLT: (handing me the stuff) Here's some gloves and a tongue depressor. That might be helpful.

Layne: Thanks.

So then I went into the handicapped bathroom, set Pinga down on the floor in front of my purse, and asked Superman to stand right next to her and make sure she didn't go anywhere. I put on the gloves, opened the diaper, extracted as much wipe- and diaper fiber-free poop as I could with the tongue depressor, and scraped it into the sample cup. It ROCKED.

We should hear from the doctor on Wednesday if Pinga has just had crypto for a year, or if she's malabsorbing fat, or neither of those things.

california adventure

John feels like this isn't a real carousel, because it's sea animals instead of horses. Pinga is cool with it.

Captain America is braver than I am about California Screamin'.

John is Zen about it.

The Hulk almost plotzed on the Jumpin' Jellyfish, but then it was nice and slow and not freaky for him.

Our favorite ride in California Adventure is Mulholland Madness, a cute, fun little roller coaster that's sort of like if the Wild Mouse didn't suck.

The Hulk loves him some irrigation.

So does Captain America.

Superman was stoked to meet a superhero peer.

The ranger people in the Brother Bear playland thingy have to help you have fun.

They are naturals at standing on fake surfboards and making the water squirt out.

For some reason I remember California Adventure sucking deeply the last time we were there, but we loved it this time. Maybe it's because we have kids now, but it seemed like there was a ton more to do. The Toy Story ride is the best--it's like Astro Blasters, only the air conditioning isn't quite as good, but the ride itself is better. It's like a bunch of midway games--it's hard to explain, but Richard and John would kill each other on this ride.

a little announcement

I'm taking Sehr Laut into the world of private blogs. I'm most concerned about Sehr Laut because of the stuff about my varmints, and all you people (Kellie! Dawnie! Courtney!) have got me feeling nervous. So if you want to be a Sehr Laut Reader, leave me a comment.

disneyland day 1

Superman is ready to fix Zurg's wagon but good.

The boys inside Tarzan's Boring Treehouse, which for some bizarre reason they actually enjoyed.

Some donkey just came up and hugged Superman.

Pinga is plumb tuckered.

John is being charming.

On the bobsleds.

We love the Matterhorn.

This is our second trip to Disneyland as a family, and my fourth, so I wanted to ride rides we hadn't done before. Hence we ended up waiting in a crazylong line for the Storybook Land Canal Boats. I also made sure to have Superman experience the fury of the Jungle Cruise, because it's so much cheesy fun. You guys. Disneyland is great. Especially in the off-season, so you can get on the rides before you visibly age.

sunday

The pool at the Comfort Suites, which is a great hotel. The pool is perfect for kids because it's only about 4 feet deep in the deepest part, the Continental breakfast is a sight to behold (Belgian wafflemakers, yay!), and the beds are way comfortable with real, no-foolin' down comforters. We will absolutely stay there again.

We look pretty great in this picture.

John in front of one of his childhood homes.

John in front of his other childhood home. The guy was creeped out by John wanting to take a picture of the house, but after a little conversation he decided we weren't Chinese organ thieves and let us take the picture.

Pinga is a safecracker.

On the way to Downtown Disney for some sightseeing.

Aww, lookit--familial camaraderie!

mission beach

We went to Mission Beach because it was just minutes away from the hotel, and it turns out that everyone else in the entire world went there too. It was super crowded, and there was a nasty lady sunbathing with her suit off, who totally flashed John on his way back from the bathroom, GROSS. It was nice and warm, though, and John and the boys had a great time bodysurfing. The ocean is awesome.

sea world

The playland in Sea World is all revamped and a good deal nicer. However, it still is a parent's nightmare with its multiple exits, so it's probably still "the stupidest d*mn thing" Richard has ever seen. (Sorry for the swear, but that's what he said, and he's not far amiss.)

more redneckery

Tweena on Sophie

I like how Grandma has to shove it in our faces that she was a rodeo queen. GOSH.

The Hulk having a heart-to-heart with Dale.

Captain America on Dale--he even galloped. Probably even faster than Troy, he says.

Superman didn't do a lot of riding. But he did wear an awesome outfit!

Nate on Eddie.

Claire on Sophie.

Troy on Dale. She learned him a thing or two.

In other news, John is turdy-seven.

We didn't get any pictures of Aleece and Dave, because they got there after the frenzy of picture-taking, and Dave didn't even ride. He said . . . something . . . about having a crippling fear of horses? I think. I can't be sure.