meanwhile, back at the ranch

Pinga pulled the cover off the vacuum and ate the stuff inside.

Superman used foul language and got to find out what the homemade soap tastes like.

And everyone played a rousing game of Poison Baby.

stupid pockets

Just thought you'd all like to know that I washed and dried some more chewing gum. Pretty excited about it.

no smell of colitis rising up through the air

John had a colonoscopy today and received a clean bill of health. He made all sorts of tacky jokes about the perceived invasive nature of the procedure, but until he's had a similarly humiliating downtown procedure for which he is awake--like, I don't know, maybe a Pap smear?--he doesn't get a vote.

We are happy, though, that his colorectal department is thriving.

happy nine

He was gonna go to Tashi . . . station for power converters . . . now I guess he's going nowhere . . . it just isn't fair . . .

We didn't take many pictures of Captain America's #9, but it was good all the same. We had chocolate bread pudding and angel food cake, he got Legos and Magnetix and a glider and candy and tickets to a Jazz game . . . who could ask for anything more? Plus a Star Wars shirt!

some items of business

A notice to our family members with comparative proximity to us (you decide how far is too far): It is Captain America's birthday on Friday, and anyone who would like to eat some food with us on Friday night is invited to come and wish him many happy returns of the day. Presents are not wished for. He has not made his dinner request, so I can't help you there, but dessert will be chocolate bread pudding and possibly two flavors of homemade ice cream (mmm . . . chocolate . . . ). Menu subject to change without notice. Let me know if you're coming, so I know upon how many people I can reasonably foist leftovers. We would love to see any of you who want to come!

Do your kids grab onto your waist with their knees when you hold them? None of mine ever have, and I wondered if it was a male junk-preservation instinct, but Pinga doesn't do it either. And it's a bear to hold onto them when you're trying to cook or unload the dishwasher!

taffy pull and settlers

We pulled taffy and played games last week with my sisters. It was fun, and we took lots of pictures, but Pinga had gotten to the camera earlier in the day, and all the pictures are crazy and formatted stupidly, so I have no evidence. But it was fun all the same. We played Settlers of Catan, and capped the victory points at 8, because we didn't want to murder each other to alleviate the boredom. Team Allred took the win, albeit with some ethically suspect behavior. Team Holmgren/Baugh made a strong showing, and Team Huff had their rear ends handed to them in a paper sack. Good times.

I sure am tired of sitting in other people's urine

You'd think I would have learned by now, but I consistently plop myself onto the toilet seat, only to discover that some miscreant with incorrect ideas of his aiming capabilities has pre-moisturized it for me.

you know it's going to be a good day when you find something perishable on your porch

And it wasn't even a human kidney! As much as I like organs and tissues, I was more excited to find this on my porch yesterday:



I recently did a little something-something for them, and this is my payment. So very, very awesome.

we all knew this day would come

The other day Matthew and Emily were coming over for dinner, and Captain America asked the ridiculous question: "Can we play with Owen?" John said, "Nope. Owen's just going to have to sit on the couch and do nothing." Captain America retaliated to this extreme curtailment of his human rights by notifying the authorities.

*The small print at the bottom reads "For not letting his children play with Owen."

brigimp breakfast

The Brigham Implement breakfast is always a good way to spend a cold March morning. The music was a little bit of a downer this year--the West Desert Trio hardly played anything upbeat. But they ended on Ghost Riders in the Sky, so my rage is appeased.

Claire and Troy. You'll notice that Nate is not here. He decided to go fly fishing instead, because I guess he didn't need a free breakfast. Must be nice to be so rich. Bankers. Sheesh.

Pinga and me. I chose this picture because I feel like I look pretty decent for not wearing any makeup.

A great picture of my parents, with my dad smiling genuinely and my mom being weird.

Aleece and Dave are about to be parents. They're smiling all huge because they're looking forward to never sleeping again.

Pinga again because she is so cute.

Captain America stuffing his face.

Superman on a sugar high.

The Hulk is glad that he doesn't need to eat any of my crappy food.

The Hulk in the Puma, Principal of the Hay Field.

Captain America is getting ready for Thunderdome.

Superman is getting ready to roundhouse Amy.

Whee! Another great year of mooching off my dad. Although I have bought some things there, not that I can remember what. Also I've picked through their garbage to find cardboard and wooden pallets. So I'm totally a customer.

pinga no-tube

Pinga went to the doctor yesterday, and her ears look great. Yay! No tubes for us.

he's my son

Yesterday morning Captain America found his scout shirt and I told him I would sew the patches and badges on in preparation for him receiving his Woof badge (hee!) at pack meeting last night. I plopped the unbadged shirt on my desk and promptly forgot all about it.

Then we were getting ready to go, and I was in the bathroom. Captain America came up and said through the door "I see you sewed my badges on just like you said you were going to."

I was so proud.