swiper, see what you can do about swiping dora's voice box

You've probably heard the saying that if you don't have time to exercise now, you'd better reserve time for being sick later? Well, yesterday in church we had a discussion along similar lines, only about kids. The gist of it was it may seem expensive right now to pay for your kids to be involved in sports or other activities, but the money's going to get spent one way or another, and if not on sports, then maybe on juvenile detention when they're running around getting in trouble instead of getting worn out at wrestling (from a true story). Plus at the end you have a healthy, active kid instead of a puke.

I still don't like football. I'm gunning for swimming or track instead.

Superman had his first day of school today, and we just had our first fight about homework. He is slavishly devoted to his schedule, and heaven help the person who tries to part him from it. Plus he utterly renounces work in all its many forms. So when he came home from school today and I told him he needed to work on his "Me in a Bag" activity, hoo boy. It's going to be a dynamite year!

I let Pinga watch an episode of Dora the other day. Why did no one tell me that everyone yells on that show? Not again, that's for sure.

oh holy words of truth and love we hear from day to day

Pinga is in bed singing, "Shut up, kids. Shut up, kids."

I'd like to know where she learned to talk like that.

rad stories I wish they hadn't skipped in gospel doctrine today

So, this year we're studying the Old Testament, right? And the lesson today was about Elisha succeeding Elijah as the prophet. Here are some stories we missed out on, as paraphrased by me.

Elisha is walking past a city, and some urban youths come out and start making fun of him and how he is old and bald. A couple of she bears come down out of the woods and:
She Bears: "Munch, crunch, rip, tear, yum."
Urban Youths: XX (that is the Xs on their eyes because they are dead now)

Naaman of Syria comes and gets his leprosy healed after a small hitch, and is so grateful that he wants to pay Elisha, but Elisha says nope. Then Elisha's servant Gehazi sneaks out and runs after Naaman and says, "Actually, Elisha does want to be paid some silver and stuff." And Naaman is all, "Cool, because I'm thankful. Here's a bunch of silver." Then Gehazi goes back to Elisha, who's all, "Umm, where have you been, Gehazi?" And Gehazi is like, "Umm, nowhere?" And Elisha is all "Snap! You are a giant liar and greedy to boot, so here's Naaman's leprosy, and you and your family can have it for always."

There's a famine in Samaria, and I guess they were crazy and evil, because a woman goes to her neighbor and says, "Since we're starving, give us your son to boil up and eat, and tomorrow we'll eat my son," so the second lady does, and the next day they go to get the kid of the first lady to eat him, and the mom has totally hidden him so they can't eat him! So tricksy!

I sometimes think they skip over these stories on purpose, which is sad, because if there's anything the Old Testament is good for, it's satisfying your inner vengeance demon and gorehound.