kids prophesy the darnedest things

Willa, holding the Book of Mormon and pretending to read from it: "Long ago the fathers had animals. But they couldn't keep the animals, because they were Jesus animals. And they were just humans. And the Lord said the aliens were bad. And they never saw their friends again. The end."

bringing something we must learn

Grant got braces yesterday. We had a celebration the night before with chewy pizza and corn on the cob and popcorn and sticky candy, before he went into the treat desert. He looks and talks mostly the same, but a little different. He is growing up. Aww, Li'l Brudder! Here he is:

Tooth-brushing is a whole different breed of cat now, a much more time-consuming and complicated breed of cat.

Willa and I get along really well when we aren't fighting. She throws the most ridiculous tantrums I have ever seen. I don't think any of our other kids have been this bratty, but John says they have. Well, I hope she grows up to be as nice as she currently is mean, and she'll be a joy. Here is a picture of us watching some cookies bake:

I help with Ike's class once a week, and there are lots of things that make me disappointed in my fellow parents. There's the acrylic nails I mentioned, but also a bunch of the kids can't read very well, and I've interacted enough with them to know that they're not dumb kids. Pretty much their parents are failing them, whether through necessity or laziness or a combination of the two.

another opening of another show

We had a vacation with my family over MLK weekend. It's the way we always celebrate MLK. We rent a cabin in Porterville and spend the weekend saying and thinking rude things when the extended proximity causes us and our children to get on each other's nerves. Kidding! But not really.

We eat good food and play games and have fun together. This year we had an Iron Chef-style cookoff which was humiliating for me, because my lava cake ended up being more like a pudding sauce. Plus it was so rich and sweet that I hated it a little bit. The secret ingredients were cocoa powder, pretzels, and cream cheese. We had to use at least two of them. Justine and Cannon won, because they made doughnuts. The rest of us were hopelessly outclassed.

Normally we try to get a family photo while we're there, so I was glad that we already had our family photos done during the Christmas break, because it meant I didn't have to cut my kids' hair and pack a bunch of possible picture outfits.

It's very generous of my parents to do this, and they seem to have a good time, even though they're forced to interact with us lazy buggers and not do any work--I think the weekend just about kills my dad. He does not care for downtime.

Here are some pictures.

I wanna rock right now

Willa and Hadley, the neighbor girl: "We got chased by a dog on our way home!"
Me: "What color was it?"
Hadley: "Rainbow-colored."
Me: "That sounds like an interesting dog."
Willa: "Yeah. He just wanted some ham and water."

fourth quarter earnings

Probably the biggest news from Christmas is that we got some fairly decent family pictures taken (for free) by my brother-in-law Nate, who has a nice camera, a good eye, and enough patience to not murder our family with a heat ray when they keep acting like dummies and complaining about having family pictures taken (for free). I think the pictures are as good as we could possibly expect, and the only way to improve them would be for us to be more attractive and less rubber-faced.

Christmas was perfect. Everybody got a present they felt very pleased about. John's favorite present was a new phone and the Faygo vanilla cream soda I bought that didn't get here until the 30th. My favorite present was a new phone and a cookbook of my grandma's recipes (I cried). Grant's favorite present was a Hagrid's Hut Lego set. Emmett's favorite present was a snap circuit board. Ike's favorite present was a stuffed tiger. Willa's favorite present was a dollhouse that looks like this:It is fearsomely cute, and she has played with it constantly. I also made her a Paducah doll that looks like this:
My granny learned to make Paducah dolls when she and my great-grandpa were on a mission in Paducah, Kentucky. Where is Paducah, Kentucky, you might ask? Halfway between Possum Trot and Monkey's Eyebrow, that's where. We have four generations of Paducah dolls now. They are adorable, with movable arms and legs and cute little baby-shaped bodies, but somewhat challenging to make for someone with my sewing and embroidering abilities. I am extremely proud of my Paducah doll.

We had a party on New Year's Eve, like always. Here are the people who came:
We ate food and played Jackstraws and Dominion. Dominion is hard and I lost.

I am excited about the new year. My goal is to be a better steward of my time.