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Sunday, July 27, 2008

the Hulk speaks

The Hulk: Mom, [Captain America]'s pigging all the Puffins!
Mom: Good to know.
(sounds of unrepentant humming from Captain America)
The Hulk: [Captain America], you shouldn't be proud, you should be ashamed!

The Hulk: Mom, it turns out that you aren't the family clown, because Dad was pretty funny on that song, and you're hardly ever funny.

while listening to "The Hut on Fowl's Legs" from Pictures at an Exhibition:
The Hulk: Can you even imagine having to run away from giant fowl legs?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

a message from my voice mail

Layne? When we got down here with that carrying case, and we opened it up to let them three out? They've lost their mittens. You know, those kittens. So I was wondering if they left them up there, because until . . . Margaret's not going to give them any pie until they find them, so . . . anyways, let us know. Bye.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

the death of Smaug, as reimagined by Superman

Superman: Is Smaug red?
Mom: Yes.
Superman: Your shirt is red, so you're like a dragon.
Mom: Yep. (Thinking: You have no idea.)
Superman: But you're not a dragon. You're a mom.
Mom: Yes, I am a mom.
Superman: Is Smaug a mom dragon?
Mom: No, he's a boy.
Superman: He's a boy?
Mom: Yep.
Superman: Is he big?
Mom: Yep.
Superman: Is he SO big?
Mom: Yep.
Superman: He's so big, and he can fly, and fall into the water and get eaten by the sharks.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

we must have seen something good

Last night we saw the Herriman Arts Council's production of The Sound of Music, and it was wunderbar. Our friends the Beardens are in it, and the cast is really talented. I was pleasantly surprised, because you know how most community theatre has a couple of ringers in the cast and everyone else is just sort of getting by? That was not the case here--the Mother Abbess, for example, nails "Climb Ev'ry Mountain," and the nuns' numbers are great, and the little "ah-ah-ah-aaaah" bit Liesl does in "The Sound of Music" is totally in tune, not flat like you might be afraid. It's a good show, and even emotionally moving, which I did not expect. I was just so happy that the acting and singing were on the most part so well done (with some exceptions, not among the Bearden Family, however). A number of years ago John and I saw a production of The Pirates of Penzance that will live in infamy evermore. Cheesy, terrible acting, horrible singing . . . it was gross. We wished we had tomato launchers in our armrests. But those folks we saw last night really class up the joint. I highly recommend that you go see it. Captain America was engrossed, if you can believe it.

Friday, July 11, 2008

it's an honor just to be nominated

At least that's what I hear. I will NOT be nominated for Mother of the Year, because I forgot to lock the door to the stairs this morning, and Pinga went crashing down to the landing and cut her lip all up and now she looks like a bloody duck and I have entirely failed her and violated the Hippocratic Oath, which, granted, I didn't take, but all the same I think it should just be understood that parents will do no harm.

In other home medical news, Superman was playing on the glider thingy at Vilda's last night, sat too close to the handle, and pinched the living daylights out of his . . . groinular region. We'll call it "junk-adjacent." He's in a lot of pain, surprise, and has to crawl instead of walk.

Monday, July 7, 2008

pinga is famous, y'all

If you get a hankering for hair accessories (and who doesn't?), head over to these websites and look at their lovely products. Also SEE! Pinga is the head model in some of the pictures! LOOK! She is wearing ostentatious flower headbands! THRILL as you think about how fierce your own wee one would look with some of those cute clips in her hair!

As payment Pinga received some product from both of these fine ladies (who will hopefully not mind that I'm pimping both of their websites in the same post), and it is the cutest ever. I'm going to clip those suckers to her head just as soon as she has load-bearing hair.

Chloe Reese
Sassy Sue

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

good question

Captain America: Mom? If we put a chicken in the water--we didn't do this--if we put a chicken in the water, would it fly out?


The Dad: If you paint everything and make it look nice, how will people know it's our house?

The Mom: Because it will be messy.