I took Pinga to the Gut & Butt Doctor today--more formally known as the Pediatric Gastroenterologist. We talked about why she might be so small and hungry, and what horrible diseases might be present to cause her problems. But the good doctor agreed with me that what we're doing so far has made a vast improvement, as Pinga has had a sharp incline back towards the growth curve, instead of tapering off into oblivion, as she was at a year.
While we were there Pinga made "a stinky," as Jiminy Glick would say, and the doctor said that we may as well use the fresh stool to do the lab work, since the lab is just downstairs. So I took the diaper downstairs, and here's what happened:
Layne: (opens door to lab, and sees a room full of people clearly waiting for the results of their rabies tests) Hi . . . are you the people I talk to about . . . I have a poopy diaper for you.
Male Lab Technician: We don't accept those.
Layne: (waving paper from the doctor, ordering the labs) Uh . . . my doctor said to bring it down? It's to do some labs? (No, I was not being sarcastic. Just nervous.)
MLT: It has to be in a sample cup.
Layne: Can I put it in a sample cup? So we don't have to waste the precious feces?
MLT: Sure (handing me a screw-top cup). Here you go.
Female Lab Technician: Is it in a diaper?
Layne: (looking at her stupidly) Umm, yeah. I don't know how else to get . . .
FLT: Well, they don't like the diaper fibers in there. If the diaper was lined with Saran Wrap . . .
Layne: Well, can I just . . . exclude? the diaper fibers when I'm scraping it into the cup?
FLT: (begrudgingly) Yeah. Do you want some gloves?
Layne: Yes, that would be great.
FLT: (handing me the stuff) Here's some gloves and a tongue depressor. That might be helpful.
Layne: Thanks.
So then I went into the handicapped bathroom, set Pinga down on the floor in front of my purse, and asked Superman to stand right next to her and make sure she didn't go anywhere. I put on the gloves, opened the diaper, extracted as much wipe- and diaper fiber-free poop as I could with the tongue depressor, and scraped it into the sample cup. It ROCKED.
We should hear from the doctor on Wednesday if Pinga has just had crypto for a year, or if she's malabsorbing fat, or neither of those things.
June- Home & Yellowstone
11 years ago
2 comments:
Ahhh, the joys of motherhood (and dealing with medical personnel who have seen it all and so aren't very empathetic). We are hoping for good results (which we have learned to interpret as "accurate results" and if they happen to indicate all is well, that is REALLY good too).
She really looks to be fattening up nicely though. :)
As a mother who has had the privelege and honor of dealing with many poo incidences (I think you have heard all the stories!) All I can say is....sweet! And putting babies on public restroom floors always makes me feel extra special. Like the time I had to change a blowout on the floor of the Bombay House bathroom which is no bigger than my microwave. The things we do for our kids!
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