it's a lovely eleven morning

A while ago I made up a genealogy game for our Lehi ward, and John is re-using it for work. He's copyrighting it for me, since it's some pretty great intellectual property, and he was wondering what to call it. He called it Family Connections, yawn, and I think--since it's a genealogy game and all--that it should be called Doing It. You know, like the song, "Genealogy, I am doing it, my genealogy . . ." John doesn't like that name, because he's a real stick in the mud. So we're naming it Aebleskiver Plunderschnecht.

I'm here to keep my eye on her

One of the things I love about living so close to my parents is my relationship with Troy. Because she's so much younger than me I was sort of that distant relative she saw every once in a while but didn't know very well. Now we're real, no-foolin' sisters who can say rude things to each other and still be friends! Case in point: our text conversation this afternoon.

Troy: "Hey, I can just cook dinner on Sunday. You guys can just bring like a salad or something."
Layne: "Troy, you can just say you hate my cooking."
Troy: "No, I love your cooking. I just wanted to help out."
Layne: "I promise I'm not going to bring anything weird."
Layne: "Except maybe bubble tea."
Troy: "Ew . . . gross, that's against my religion."
Layne: "You don't love my cooking, you liar. Anyway, it's just steak, so no big."
Troy: "Okay, well, I'm cooking something too, then (I don't like steak)."
Layne: "Of course you don't. Pretty, pretty princess."

Because I love her and forgive her for being part of this new generation that doesn't care if it misspells or doesn't punctuate correctly, I have corrected her texting errors.

We went on to have a discussion about her track meet (cancelled because of the freak armageddon storm we had) and parted on good terms after I used some dated gangsta slang.

I would not like to have been a child then, or any other age of person for that matter

Our ward choir (that practices at our house so we'll come) is practicing "Whenever I Think About Pioneers" for July, and I have a hard time singing the words. Singing it doesn't make it true, y'all, and whenever I think about pioneers, this is what I think of:

• chopping hair out of the ice with an axe
• lugging a sack of dirty diapers until you find a river
• jerked beef
• mosquitoes
• burning sun
• the desert
• walking in bare feet
• frostbite
• gangrene
• infant mortality
• burning poop to stay warm
• cannibalism
• menstruation with no way of cleaning yourself--can you imagine how many bears they attracted?
• bodies in shallow graves being dug up and eaten by wolves

Pass.

intelligent design

Superman: "Opa, see how those bulls have big horns? The ones that have the big horns? Why do they have those big horns?"
Opa Wade: "Because Heavenly Father knew it would make them look awesome to the cows."

they poop rainbows

I think I'm done apologizing for my kids' normal behavior. It probably makes people think that my kids are bad, which they're not, or that I don't love them, which I do, and besides, why should I have to apologize? It's none of their beeswax, and if my experience with other people's children serves me right, they're having enough difficulty raising their own children to be decent human beings.

It's not my fault I have gifted children! Well, it sort of is. Because John and I are way gifted, too.

my own fault

Last night The Hulk said to John, while they were reading John Henry, "If I had been alive when John Henry was, I would have killed those men for ruining nature to build a railroad!"

That's super neat. He'll probably grow up to bomb oil refineries.

Also, Pinga was hollering in her room, so I went to find out what was going on. She said, "I poopy. I push it way out."

Thanks, Bill Cosby! You are hilarious and we are forever in your debt.

only one of many best days

Superman: "Chicken and dumplings? This is the best day ever!"

I love his exuberance.