ward party chili--like normal chili, but with all the enjoyable side effects of olestra

So we got food poisoning from the ward party. There have been theories floated as to the legitimacy of the blessing on the food, but my money is on the fact that there were a bunch of slow cookers filled with lukewarm chili. The only one of us who didn't experience gastrointestinal distress of any kind is the Hulk, and naturally he had not eaten any chili. John's was not too severe, but he also ate out of a different pot than the rest of us. Within hours of the meal Captain America had emptied the entire contents of his stomach with the volume, force and velocity of a firehose--the kind of firehose that would be used if, say, the Christmas tree from Rockefeller Plaza were ablaze inside the Smithsonian. Pinga is still suffering from the ill-effects, and from the smell of the hallway, I can only surmise that she metamorphosed sometime during the night into a feces-based organism.